puzzlesphereI didn’t die, but the blogging did.  Not sure how to really explain why, it was a number of things.  Stopping to re-evaluate.  Stopping to reflect, instead of just trying to spout off my insignificant little opinions about all these things.  Stopping to try and let God just talk to me and lead for a change.  I’m not good at letting Him do that.  It doesn’t come naturally.  I always jump ahead, always run off and get wrapped up into my own ideas, instead of waiting on Him.  I get fixated on “putting all the pieces together”, and the pieces never run out.  There are always more to seek out, fit into the puzzle.  It becomes an Achilles heal, chasing down every rabbit hole and mystery and conspiratorial thread, instead of seeking out God Himself, and His wisdom and calling first….

Anyhow, not sure where things might be headed now, in terms of what I’m going to be “doing”, with the blog, or writing, or just online in general.  Been feeling that old itch to just “do something”.  Maybe get into making music again.  Maybe back into art and design.  Maybe I could use that somehow, put it to some sort of use in helping other people “wake up” to the reality around us all.  I really don’t know.  I’ve more or less been in a “solitude in the desert” phase for the past year, both literally and figuratively.  I’ve listened to hours, and hours, of podcasts.  Sometimes it feels like they are the only thing that keeps me sane, and that itself can come with a feeling of guilt, because I know that Jesus is the only thing I really need to be relying on.  Many, many times I have tried to simply just walk away from having thoughts about the whole “NWO” view of the world around me.  To listen to what family members have said about it essentially being “idolatry”, or the “glorification of evil”, or whatever else.  I try not to “obsess”.  I try to just be obedient to what the Word says about living simply, working with my hands, and letting faith in God be enough, without trying to constantly “figure it all out”, as if I ever could…

But the “pieces” inevitably and consistently continue to enter into my field of view, to invade my thoughts, to interrupt almost every time I open myself to any form of electronic media…

It doesn’t matter if I’m watching the news (usually just to check the weather report, not because I seriously think I’m going to learn anything), cable tv, the movies, or my kid’s cartoons.  It’s everywhere.  The propaganda.  The delusion.  The deception.  The “matrix”.  The not-so-new world order that is all around us, even now.

One thought on “Pieces…”

  1. Been there…AM there! First of all, I am just happy to see that you have checked in! Hoping all is well. Looking forward to looking at your other posts. I just saw that you saw a couple of the vids I did. I too am feeling that urge to “create” or to “speak” or to “express” again…but have also not quite pulled myself over the hump of “Well what do I say.” I have found that I have stopped myself from making certain posts because they are already being made by other people…and made and said in better ways than I could do. I felt I would just be adding to the “echo chamber” of the situation. Maybe that is just an excuse I have gotten comfortable with. I think it really comes back to making these things primarily to glorify God…and to inform, support, and encourage believers…state our case for non-believers…but then also just to “entertain” ourselves. I don’t mean “entertain” in a shallow way. I mean “occupy” and “produce”. Whenever you do a post on something it requires thought…some research…some mulling it over…digging into scripture. Its a great exercise! It is what the Bible calls a “fruitful” experience. Or at least it can be…it should be. Of course you could just talk about materialism and product reviews and sports and temporal things…but I don’t see you doing that. Alright man, good to touch base! Looking forward to a bit of reading! – B

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